cold
frost on my window
thinking of you
i wonder what it’s like
to be so icy
i’m ooey gooey
i’ll melt for you
if you ask me
but i’m numb
from your cold
fiona was right
hunger hurts
i’m starving for a life that isn’t mine
i resent you
all of you
and for a second i think i can go back
there’s no going back
this is your life
you are here
written in the snow
but not stone
I don’t want to be advertised to
silence, i’m screaming
make it stop
reject cookies
but you follow my crumbs anyway
i don’t exist without you watching
i don’t need more
i need less
of you telling me what I need
you’ve poisoned me to consume
when I want to create
it doesn’t hurt any less
you lied
i’m a bottomless pit
all for your profit
after the sun sets
from my window i watch
rabbit running on the sidewalk
right by their CRV
bye bunny
fingernail moon through my stained glass
i hear keys in the door
the the lights are on
the blinds are down
no more night watching
I cut my nails
just before the quick
i’ve lost all my power
they’ve lost their click
pick
my thumb till it bleeds
stare
until my eyes burn
you can do this
pull some strength from inside
we need you
you can do this
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror
too long
not recognizing the person who stands there
she’s trying to tell me something
i’m waiting for her to make a move different than my own
she knows something
if i’m everything for you
who am i
she knows
im sorry
caught between caring so much and caring so little
pick your poison
diary of a 20 something 
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